


That Long Ago Night

by humapuma



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst and Porn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Discussions of infidelity, Friends to Lovers, Hurt Steve Rogers, Internalized Homophobia, Love Confessions, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Top Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:46:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28004112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humapuma/pseuds/humapuma
Summary: Bucky has waited ten years for this moment, prayed for it, and Steve is here now. All he has to do is convince Steve to stay, to give him a chance... that they could be something.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 28
Kudos: 164





	That Long Ago Night

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This fic came about after I watched Phantom of the Opera and then started watching clips from the sequel, Love Never Dies. If you know that play, you might recognize where the inspiration comes from. <3 I hope you enjoy it!

Bucky turned around, suddenly struck by that moment – Steve was _there_ , in his apartment. He had long felt himself so far removed from their childhood that the idea of this could never have occurred to him. Standing by the windows, Steve looked out over the city, and Bucky remembered the many times he had watched Steve’s thin figure hunched over his sketchpad, drawing that very image.

Bucky wondered if Steve had ever seen them from so high up before, or if anyone else had ever given this to him.

His chest swelled with pride at the knowledge that _he_ could.

Taking a moment, he took Steve in, noting how much he had changed in the years since they’d last seen one another. He was still tall, blond, and gorgeous, of course, but his hair had grown longer and he had a full beard. Bucky had never really been attracted to men with beards, but there was something exceedingly handsome about Steve’s.

In fact, Bucky was struck by how incredible Steve looked standing among Bucky’s things. He wanted to wrap Steve up in his Egyptian cotton sheets and show him what he never could have dreamed before.

“Do you like the view?” He asked as he approached and offered Steve a drink. 

“It’s… real pretty, Buck,” Steve replied, taking the glass. “I’ve always loved the –”

“City lights at night,” Bucky interrupted, smiling at him. “I remember.” He raised his glass as if to toast something. “How is the Peace Corps? Building farms? Have you been eating off of shovels out there?”

Steve chuckled. “Sure, Buck.” He looked around the room, as if unsure of what to do next.

“Well, I mean,” Bucky said, “that’s why they throw events like today’s, right? To honor local heroes?”

“Heroes?” Steve repeated the word. “Don’t know if I’d call myself that.”

“What about Sharon?” Bucky asked, hoping that Steve hadn’t heard the way his voice hitched. “She must… think you’re a hero.”

Steve held Bucky’s gaze for a long moment before he lifted the drink and took a sip. Something had shifted in him but Bucky couldn’t put his finger on what it was. His voice lost its lightness, turning demanding as his eyes narrowed.

“We’re divorced,” he answered, “but I think you knew that.”

Bucky didn’t answer and, instead, tipped his drink back and emptied the glass. In a rush, he refilled it with shaking hands before turning back to face Steve, though the look that he found there was less than welcoming.

“Why am I here, Buck?”

Bucky swallowed around a tight throat and took another drink. “I – I _had_ to see you, Steve.”

Scoffing, Steve put the glass down on the coffee table so hard, Bucky wondered if it would break. “You set this whole thing up, didn’t you? The Peace Corps event?”

“Steve, I had no choice –”

“I should have known it was you. How dare you!” Steve nearly shouted, turning to leave.

Before he could get far, though, Bucky rushed to say, “You remember – you _remember_ that night.” Steve stopped in his tracks, frozen there.

“What night?” Steve asked, though Bucky could hear the truth in his voice.

“The night before your wedding,” he replied. “Don’t deny it.”

Steve turned slightly then, though he still wouldn’t meet Bucky’s eyes. “I… I remember.” He took a shaky breath and sat down on a nearby chair, though Bucky got the impression he would have fallen over if it hadn’t been there. “I came to see you… to say goodbye…”

Setting his own drink aside, Bucky demanded, “Go on.”

“It was raining that night – the biggest storm I’d seen in years. I found you hiding in your room and… God, I was there to say goodbye, but –” He stopped, scrubbing both hands over his face. “Then the power went out.”

Bucky took a bold step closer. “And I touched you.”

Steve visibly shivered. “I felt you.”

“For the first time,” Bucky said, “I wasn’t afraid of what I wanted.” He moved even nearer and Steve looked up at him. “It was so dark, I wasn’t ashamed.”

Swallowing, Steve answered, “In the dark, it was… just you and me.” He stood then and closed the meager distance between them, his eyes dark. There was a confidence in his posture that hadn’t been there a moment before. “I could say all the things I’d been too afraid to before.”

Bucky felt heat building within him. “And then I kissed you.”

Steve grabbed Bucky’s arms tightly and rasped, “And I took you.” His eyes were heavily lidded as they wandered to Bucky’s lips and back to his eyes. “And you begged me for it.”

“Over and over,” Bucky said, reaching up to touch him but Steve pulled away just before he made contact.

Turning his back to Bucky, he said, “But when I woke up, you were nowhere to be found.”

Bucky’s stomach dropped. “You were about to get _married_ , Steve! When I woke up, the sun was coming up and… the light made everything so _real_. I was ashamed of what I was, of… what I did.”

Steve spun around and glared at him. “I _loved_ you!” Bucky’s eyes widened but Steve didn’t hesitate. “Yes, I loved you. I would have followed you anywhere!”

“Steve –” Bucky tried but Steve snarled.

“I woke up to tell you the truth… but found you _gone_.”

Anger rose up in Bucky as well and he shouted, “I loved you, Steve! And I left you, but I had to and _both of us_ know why.”

Steve’s rage flagged then and his gaze fell to the floor. “We both know why.”

Moving closer, Bucky whispered, “But I’ve never forgotten it and I’ll never regret it.”

Steve hesitated for a moment before he reached up, taking Bucky’s face in his hands. “I won’t forget, Buck… ever. Not until the end of the world.”

Bucky licked his lips and Steve’s eyes followed the movement. There was no pause then and he threaded his fingers in Bucky’s hair in a grip so tight, Bucky inhaled sharply. He was already hard in his pants but he had no idea when it had happened.

“ _Steve_ –”

“Let me,” Steve interrupted and Bucky’s mouth snapped shut. “I never got to do this before. Let me savor you.”

Something in his tone struck Bucky, reverberating deep within him. “I… remember this,” he whispered against Steve’s lips.

“I’ll make sure you never forget again,” he rasped, pulling Bucky in.

Their mouths smashed together and Bucky felt like an inexperienced boy trying to catch up. Steve’s lips were firm, but gentle, and he wrapped one arm around Bucky’s lower back. Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck and tried to turn them, pushing with his legs to press Steve against the window, but he was met with heavy resistance.

Reaching down with both hands, Steve gripped Bucky’s ass, pulling their bodies flush and swallowing the small sounds Bucky released. In any other situation, with any other partner, Bucky would have pushed back harder, _demanded_ control.

But this was Steve.

So, Bucky relaxed in his hold, letting those lips pull him in; he was only vaguely aware of anything beyond them. He gasped when Steve gripped him harder, lifting him off the ground.

Wrapping his legs around Steve’s waist, he groaned, “Fuck, you’re strong.”

Steve chuckled before rasping, “Building farms and eating off of shovels has its benefits.”

Bucky meant to respond with a sassy quip, but everything flew out the window when Steve laid him down on the couch. He crawled between his legs and sat back on his heels for a moment, raking his eyes over Bucky’s body.

“Steve, please,” he whispered, reaching out, and Steve’s smile transformed from lascivious to tender.

“Anything, Buck,” he said, laying down to capture Bucky’s lips again. “I would always give you anything you wanted.”

When their lips met, Bucky wasted no time in catching up; he wrapped his legs around Steve’s hips, digging his fingers in his hair, and kissed back with everything he had. He opened his mouth and began licking, fleetingly, at Steve’s lips, begging for more, faster, and Steve didn’t disappoint. He thrusted his tongue into Bucky’s mouth, nipped at his lips, and used his hold on Bucky’s hair to tilt his head, deepening the kiss.

Bucky knew he would, eventually, need to breathe, but it was an incidental thought at that moment. Steve was a warm, sure weight on his body and he could forgo breathing if it meant he would have more of him. It shocked him how _hungry_ he was for Steve, how desperate and aching his body had become after so little contact. Steve pressed their bodies together in a slow, flawless grind and Bucky broke away, throwing his head back and moaning loudly.

Steve’s lips traveled down his jaw, to his ear, and his neck. His beard tickled and burned all at once, creating a tingling sensation that seemed to move over the entirety of Bucky’s body. With each press of his lips, Steve snapped his hips forward, and Bucky was sure he was going to shoot off in his pants at any moment.

“St-eve,” he gasped, “please, the bedroom, _please_.” Steve bit down on Bucky’s shoulder, sending sharp jolts of electricity down his spine. “Ah– ah, Steve,” he groans.

“Anything, Buck,” Steve whispered, sitting up. “Come on.”

Swallowing thickly, Bucky stood on unsure feet; he took Steve’s hand and dragged him around the couch toward the bedroom. Before he could even turn around, Steve pressed himself against Bucky’s back and kissed along his neck while his hands wandered over Bucky’s abdomen. His thumbs brushed Bucky’s nipples through his shirt and his teeth found Bucky’s earlobe, making him shiver in anticipation.

“Still like this,” Steve breathed against Bucky’s neck before touching the skin just beneath Bucky’s shirtsleeves and dragging his nails down the backs of his arms.

Bucky gasped, but not in pain; it stung at first but the skin tingled deliciously afterward.

“Steve, you know, you don’t have to butter me up,” he whispered, through a haze of desire. “Been wantin’ this since I saw you today.”

Steve placed a kiss on the back of Bucky’s neck, just below the hairline, and whispered, “Been wantin’ you for a long time, Buck.” He ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair again and tugged, gently, so Bucky would tilt his head, exposing more of himself. Bucky released a shocked moan when he felt Steve’s other hand slide around to palm his dick. Steve continued, his voice suddenly huskier, “I know what you need… but I won’t rush.” His hand was firm in its ministrations, making Bucky shake and gasp, while the grip on his hair kept him in place. “I’m going to take my time,” Steve growled, “take you apart,” he dragged his teeth along Bucky’s neck, “lay you down,” bit his earlobe, “suck you and eat you out,” he rubbed harder, “make you come before you take me.”

“ _Steve_ ,” Bucky whimpered – fucking _whimpered_ , “I’m – fuck, I’ll _come_.”

Steve’s hand stopped moving but remained firmly pressed against him, and Bucky released a heavy breath. He couldn’t remember the last time _anyone_ had him this hot so quickly. It wasn’t simply that he hadn’t seen Steve in so long; it wasn’t just that Steve was sexy; it wasn’t even that Steve was good with his hands.

It was that Steve _knew_ how to work Bucky’s entire being; he knew how to touch and talk to him; he knew what Bucky wanted but would always give him what he _needed_.

In all the years since he’d last seen Steve, Bucky never bottomed. When he had a partner – or two – in this bed, he was in command, and no one ever seemed to want anything else. For Bucky, it had simply happened that way.

His mind wouldn’t let him relax enough to forget all of the responsibilities he had waiting for him on the other side of the encounter, so it was often the case that his work even followed him into bed. It had never really bothered him that much; he could get in, get off, and get out just fine, even if his brain wouldn’t seem to loosen its tight grip one bit.

Sometimes, it felt as though he was white knuckling it through life, even when he had a beautiful woman or gorgeous man – or both – under him. Always holding on too tightly to that control. Always working at something until it was perfect. Always pushing himself to his limits.

It was exhausting sometimes.

But at that moment, with Steve’s firm hands and soft lips, Bucky felt far away. He hardly noticed when Steve pulled his shirt off, taking the opportunity to explore the muscles of Bucky’s chest and back, leaving marks that Bucky would never allow with anyone else.

When Steve’s hands deftly unzipped his pants and pushed them down, followed swiftly by his boxers, Bucky gasped. He let Steve spin him around and their eyes met.

“Buck,” Steve whispered, “I’m going to make it so good, baby, but I need you to tell me you want it.”

Bucky opened his mouth to _scream_ ‘yes!’ but he couldn’t find his voice. He was achingly hard and lightheaded; the room was by no means cool, yet he couldn’t stop shivering. There was something terribly filthy about the fact that he was completely naked while Steve was fully dressed – an imbalance of power that, under other circumstances, would make Bucky feel too vulnerable and open. Yet, in that moment, it only made Bucky _hotter_ , more desperate.

Finally, he whispered, “Please,” and Steve’s tender eyes darkened.

“Lie down, baby,” Steve rasped and Bucky obeyed, settling himself on the pillows.

Steve crawled after him like a predator stalking its next meal. He hovered over Bucky, leaning forward as if to kiss him, but just as their lips were an inch apart, he moved to the side. Bucky’s head dropped to the pillow like a rock, and he huffed in frustration.

Steve ignored his outburst and continued kissing along Bucky’s chin, across his cheek, down his jaw, and his neck at a slow, languid pace. Each press of his lips was tender and sweet, but Steve followed it quickly with a lick or nip, ensuring that every single one was sultry and sensuous. The blood was rushing in Bucky’s ears and he thought his heart might beat out of his chest, and Steve hadn’t even reached his collarbone yet.

“Please,” Bucky gasped but Steve only shushed him, continuing at his leisurely pace.

When Steve’s lips found his nipple, Bucky released an embarrassingly loud, shocked moan, then threw his head back. “So sensitive,” Steve muttered, continuing to lick and suck until the flesh had turned red and tender before kissing across to the other one.

Bucky was all but panting, about to lose his damn mind; he was on the edge already and Steve had hardly touched his dick yet. He dug his fingers into the meat of Steve’s shoulders, unsure if he meant to push him down or pull him up but he was halted in doing either, however, when Steve took both of his wrists, pressing them against the pillows.

“Fu– Steve, I’m – I need –” he pleaded, gripping the pillows with all his strength.

“Shh,” Steve breathed, “I know, baby.”

“You d-don’t, though,” he moaned as Steve bit down on the flesh over his ribs. “I’m gonna blow, I don’t know i-if I can hold off.”

He could punch Steve for his smug grin but quickly forgot all about it as Steve’s movements finally began to hasten, if only just a bit. Just _enough_. Steve took Bucky’s dick into his mouth, all the way to the root, and Bucky cried out, jerking his hips into that heat.

“I’m gonna – _fuck_ , Steve!” His entire body seized and his vision whited out. Distantly, he was aware of Steve swallowing around him, taking everything he had to give.

Steve continued sucking and licking him until Bucky’s moans turned pained and he tried to pull away. Sitting up, Steve licked his lips and ran his fingers through his own hair, trying to keep it out of his face. For his part, Bucky could do nothing but lay there, blissed out, desperate for more.

“S-sorry,” he groaned. “I didn’t – I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s not a competition, baby,” Steve whispered, gently, and gripped Bucky’s shoulder. “Come on,” he continued, “turn over.”

Bucky went willingly at first but hesitated when he was on his side. He turned to look at Steve over his shoulder and Steve’s dark eyes held his before grabbing his hips and pressing him into the mattress. Before Bucky even knew what was happening, Steve’s clothed body was lying over him. His skin was so sensitive, the harsh feel of Steve’s jeans against his skin was almost too much. 

“Take your clothes off,” Bucky said, his tone firm but Steve merely chuckled.

“Why should I do that?” he breathed against Bucky’s ear, sending shivers across his body.

Gripping the blanket in clenched fists, Bucky rasped, “I want… I’ve already come, Steve. It’s your turn.”

There was a shift in the way Steve’s hands gripped him… the tension eased a bit and his hold softened. “Don’t worry about me, Buck,” he whispered.

“But –”

“Just relax,” Steve interrupted, sliding down his body. “Let me savor you.”

Bucky’s breathing picked up with every inch that Steve moved and, _Christ_ , he was getting hard again. He tried to turn his body enough to watch, tried to even get a glimpse, but Steve leaned forward and pressed his hand firmly against Bucky’s shoulder. When he was sure Bucky wouldn’t move again, Steve resumed his slow, tortuous journey. He licked the length of Bucky’s spine, following the curve of it to his lower back.

Bucky was already moaning, pressing his face into the pillow, completely unguarded and reckless in his desire. “ _Steve_ ,” he cried out when the tip of Steve’s tongue reached the cleft of his ass, but Steve didn’t stop. Bucky had only done this a few times but nothing compared to Steve’s technique. He couldn’t hold still, moaning wantonly as Steve fucked his tongue inside Bucky. “ _Uhn, uhn,_ fu- uh _, Steve_ ,” he cried into his pillow.

Then, Steve disappeared and Bucky sobbed at the loss, trying to sit up. He was halted when a hand pressed him back down. “I’m here,” Steve promised. “Where is your lube? Condoms?”

Bucky tried to speak but couldn’t quite yet, so he pointed to the drawer by the bed. Steve must have retrieved the items because, before Bucky knew it, his mouth was back on him and his _tongue_ was pressing inside Bucky again.

“ _Oh_ , God, fuck,” he rambled, pressing his face back into the pillow. 

“Just Steve is fine.”

“Fuck you, you sassy shit,” Bucky mumbled into the pillow, then cut himself off with a loud moan when he felt a cool, lubed finger pressing in next to Steve’s tongue. “ _Ohhh_.” 

Bucky was grinding against the bed, pressing forward for friction and back toward Steve’s mouth. “That’s it, baby,” Steve praised, pushing a second finger in and twisting them until –

“ _Ah_ , fuck, right there, Steve, _fuck_!” 

Steve bent his fingers and massaged Bucky’s prostate, over and over. His hips jerked harder and he moaned continuously; he could feel the moisture from his dick, leaking onto the bedspread and he was _so close_. “Please, need – please, Steve,” he begged.

Steve took pity on him and pulled away before helping him roll over to his side. Bucky repositioned himself onto his back to watch Steve undress. As inches of skin were revealed, Bucky panted and shook. Steve’s shirt disappeared and Bucky groaned.

“You’re somthin’ else, Rogers,” he whispered, his eyes trailing down to where Steve had begun to open his pants. “I might have to make a donation to the Peace Corps in appreciation.”

Steve chuckled but didn’t answer, focusing instead on standing up. When his pants and boxers dropped to the floor, Bucky moaned. Looking up, Steve asked, “This still okay?”

Bucky nodded and reached out desperately. “Yes. Now, get back here.”

Steve grinned and crawled back onto the bed, resuming his spot between Bucky’s legs. “Like this, okay?” He asked, reaching for the condom. “I want to see you.”

All Bucky could do was nod and watch. Steve slipped the condom on then leaned down to capture Bucky’s lips in a searing kiss, running the fingers of his clean hand through Bucky’s hair. Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck and opened his mouth, deepening the kiss. Then he felt blunt pressure against him as Steve lined himself up.

“Ready?” Steve asked and Bucky nodded, pulling him back into the kiss.

Steve tucked his arms beneath Bucky’s knees, using his hold to lift Bucky’s hips. They both groan as the head of Steve’s dick pressed inside, but Steve held himself still, kissing Bucky slower. He was waiting to make sure Bucky was alright, _the fucking boy scout._

“It’s good,” Bucky whispered. “Keep going, it’s good.”

Steve nodded and continued until his hips met Bucky’s ass. “ _Fuck_ , you feel so good,” he rasped, his breathing ragged. 

He kissed Bucky again before pulling out a bit and thrusting back in.

Bucky was used to sex being fast, a frantic race to come. But _this_ – Steve’s strokes were long, languid, and powerful. Each thrust hit Bucky’s prostate and sent a shockwave through him. He couldn’t decide if he needed to pull away or push into it, but either way, Steve held him in place. His pupils were blown wide when Bucky met his gaze, though his eyes were hooded. 

His hair had fallen in his face again and Bucky smiled, reaching up to tuck it back. Steve raised an eyebrow and bent to kiss him. The change in angle made Bucky cry out and Steve nodded, thrusting harder than before.

Bucky reached down to find that he was hard again and Steve moaned at the sight of Bucky touching himself. “Jesus, Buck, wanna see you come again.”

“Harder,” he said, twisting his wrist just so. “Faster, Steve.”

Without responding, Steve picked up the pace, gripping Bucky’s thighs as he did. Bucky threw his head back, moaning. He wasn’t in his right mind one bit but he could have sworn Steve whispered, “Fuckin’ missed this so much.”

He felt the tingling at the base of his spine and Steve gasped, snapping his hips harder than before. “Fuck, Bucky, I’m gonna come.”

Bucky nodded and worked his hand faster, feeling the pressure build until, “Oh _fuck fuck fuck_ ,” and he cried out. He came practically dry but it was the most intense orgasm he’d had in _years_.

Steve thrusted harder, their skin slapping together, until he buried himself deep in Bucky, as if to fuse their bodies together. “ _Bucky_ ,” he moans, shaking with the intensity of his own orgasm.

Steve released Bucky’s legs and collapsed onto him, panting against his neck. Bucky wasn’t much better, himself; he worried he wouldn’t be able to walk right the following day, though that hardly mattered. Steve took care that it wouldn’t hurt one bit, but Bucky’s dick was very sensitive after two orgasms.

Steve lifted off of him and gripped the base of the condom before pulling out of Bucky’s body. He stood up and slipped it off, wrapping it in tissue and dropping it in the trash can. He crawled back onto the bed and pulled Bucky against him.

“Like riding a bike,” Steve whispered against his neck, “I guess ten years really isn’t that long.”

Bucky chuckled, his eyes falling shut. He was so relaxed – not just post-orgasmic bliss, but pure, unadulterated ease. He sighed happily.

It really was just like riding a bike, being with Steve. It had always been second nature, to be in his arms, to kiss him, and to be with him. The real tragedy was that it had taken _so many years_ for them to get to this point.

But Bucky wouldn’t take any of it for granted – not for one second.

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? <3


End file.
